In the early stages of building my career, I found myself drawn to work appointments that promised exposure, leadership lessons and network-building. On paper, these opportunities seemed valuable. In reality, they drained my resources while delivering little in return.
I invested my personal time, money and energy into initiatives that benefitted immensely from firstly my presence, then my creativity and my contributions - yet I walked away empty-handed, financially and emotionally.
It was only after repeating this pattern in more than one space that I had to ask myself: why was I consistently attracting exploitation?
The Pattern of Exploitative Appointments
The truth was sobering. I realised that my sense of self-worth was far below how others actually perceived my value. While exploiters could see the credibility, trust and opportunities my presence could bring them, I could not.
This misalignment meant I accepted terms that chipped away at me instead of nourishing me. I convinced myself that “some compromise” was necessary to reach my goals. But compromise soon became erosion - stripping away my innate sense of self in service of someone else’s benefit.
I held onto a detrimental sense of hope that someday I’d be “seen,” instead of recognising I already had everything I needed within me.
Why This Happens: The Broader Picture
I am not alone in this. Studies show that 43% of professionals admit to working for free at some point in their careers under the promise of “exposure” or future opportunities (Source: PayScale survey, 2022).
Research also reveals that women, particularly women of colour, are more likely to be undervalued and asked to “prove” themselves through unpaid contributions (McKinsey’s Women in the Workplace, 2023).
This exploitation thrives in environments where ambition and hope meet a lack of boundaries. It’s a painful truth: the danger is rarely in others recognising our value - it’s in us failing to recognise it for ourselves.
The Lessons I Carry Forward
Breaking free from this pattern required me to:
- Reclaim my self-worth - I had to learn that I am always enough and my value is not negotiable.
- Stop proving myself - The only person I need to prove anything to is myself.
- Recognise misaligned spaces - Not every platform is meant for me, especially if it erodes more than it nourishes.
- Trust my innate desires and values - Alignment, not compromise, leads to sustainable growth.
An Invitation to You
If you have ever been told “this will be good exposure” while sacrificing your resources, ask yourself:
- Does this opportunity truly align with my values?
- Am I being valued for more than my labour - for my presence, my ideas, my energy?
- What am I giving away and what am I really receiving in return?
🌿 Through Restore Your Mind and Find Peace coaching, I help individuals rebuild their self-worth, set healthy boundaries and step into opportunities that truly reflect their value.