Healing is never a straight line. It requires not only inner work, but also the courage to examine the environments and relationships that surround us. For me, one of the most pivotal decisions in my healing journey was letting go of new and old trauma-bonded friendships and connections that were still tied to my ex-husband and my broken marriage.
Choosing to Walk Away
At the time, it felt like an unbearable choice. These were once beautiful connections that had shared seasons of my life. But as I grew more aware, I realised they had become unsafe spaces - places filled with reminders, triggers and damaging schemes that stood against my freedom to live.
At the core, I had to draw a thick line between connections that aligned with my values and those that did not - just as I had done with my marriage. This has since become a guiding principle in my life: a key factor in deciding which relationships I nurture and which I release.
While painful, this practice has been medicine for my heart, mind and vision in ways that compromising myself never could. Owning this decision - along with the consequences - afforded me time and space to draw closer to what resonates with me most.
Freedom Beyond the Loss
By stepping away, I suddenly gained the freedom to explore new perspectives, revisit suppressed interests and enjoy new experiences without explanation. Eliminating distractions fast-tracked my healing in ways I could never have anticipated.
This choice also preserved my dignity. Instead of allowing myself to be vulnerable in spaces that fed off my brokenness, I gave myself permission to heal quietly, discreetly and wholeheartedly. In that space of restoration, I found new opportunities - work I had only dreamt of before and powerful personal development circles where I could pour into myself unapologetically.
Rebuilding Confidence from Within
For a long time, my confidence had been eroded. I had allowed my sense of self-worth to be defined externally, shaped by projections and betrayals. Choosing to walk away allowed me to start rebuilding confidence not for public validation, but for myself.
I began to see my blind spots, pitfalls and shortcomings with compassion, while also reaffirming my strengths, advantages and even privileges I had once undermined. What was lost in unhealthy spaces, I began to rediscover within myself - and this time, on firmer ground.
The Lesson: Guarding Your Circle
Healing is sacred. The company you keep can either nourish that process or derail it. Choosing to walk away from what no longer serves you is not abandonment - it is alignment.
I have learned that preserving your peace is worth more than clinging to connections that compromise your freedom. And sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to release, so that restoration and new opportunities can find you.
An Invitation to You
If you find yourself surrounded by reminders of pain, ask yourself: Does this company nourish my healing, or does it keep me bound to what I’ve outgrown?
The power of the company you keep is profound. Protect it. Honour it. And never apologise for choosing yourself.