Smear campaigns have a way of cutting deeply. For me, they broke my heart because I could not understand why others would dedicate so much energy to trying to demean my attempts to rebuild my life independently - simply because my visible struggles did not meet their “standards” of suffering.
Choosing What to Share
In the digital age, so much of our lives are visible. I made a decision to share only what was inspiring and uplifting when it came to my work, because there are already endless platforms dedicated to sorrow, pain and brokenness.
This decision was not always well received, particularly by those who were aware of my personal struggles. As someone who once unknowingly attached my identity to pain - which eventually manifested physically in multiple ways - I chose instead to learn how to be intentional about joy, to give more of it than pain. In my healing, joy became medicine.
But joy, too, became met with suspicion, strange responses and even hostility.
Lessons from the Pain
What smear campaigns taught me is the danger of expectations without mutual agreements. I found myself deeply affected by the behaviours of people with whom I had no agreements, no shared values and no true bonds.
Why was I devastated by their criticisms and attacks when I never invited or agreed to their expectations in the first place?
This question shifted everything for me. I realised that those who align with my values are who truly matter, while those who don’t cannot be given the platform of my recognition.
Seeing Beyond the Attacks
I’ve also learnt that those who are quick to critique what they do not understand are often desperate for help themselves. Their harassment, bullying and targeted behaviour are sometimes a distorted cry for attention or healing.
Most recently, I was tested again when I chose to speak publicly about my experiences of cyberbullying and harassment. Unlike before, I did not dismiss or ignore. I spoke up for myself, calmly but firmly, not for public praise but to protect my peace.
The reaction was defensive, filled with gaslighting and threats - but this time, I saw clearly. Their behaviour only exposed their own victimhood and desperation for recognition. And in that moment, I felt no fear. I felt affirmed.
The Blessing in the Pain
Smear campaigns are painful, but they taught me invaluable lessons:
- To own my power without apology.
- To protect my peace above external noise.
- To stop granting recognition to those not aligned with my values.
- To mirror, when necessary, the behaviour of bullies so they might see themselves.
I am proud of myself for learning that kindness does not mean silence and calmness does not mean weakness. Using my voice has become part of my healing, not to win approval, but to preserve my dignity and reaffirm my worth.
An Invitation to You
If you’ve ever been misjudged, attacked or diminished, I want to remind you: your peace is worth protecting. You are under no obligation to carry the projections of others.
Sometimes the very pain that breaks you open contains the blessing that builds you stronger.